The Real McCoy
The Key word here ladies is BOY.
Welcome to Whistler, also known as Never Never Land. We get as many Lost Boys here as we do days of rain. Very few members of the opposite sex move to Whistler to find the girl of their dreams, and live happily ever after. Please, keep that in mind before you hop on a plane from Australia, England, or Ontario, prepared to wow all the Whistler guys into submission with your amazing style, great hair, and "really good at dating a pro" ways. I mean how could they not want you? They must be getting sick of all the hardcore snowboard girls by now right?
Without further adieu, allow me to introduce our first Whistler Guy:
The Peter Pan - Coming on 30 this guy is a Whistler staple. He knows everyone, and everyone knows him, they're just not really sure how, or why. Most likely a washed up pro snowboarder/skier turned product rep, these guys still hang out with actual pros who are usually about 18. Never one to settle down, this guy keeps getting older, while the girls he dates stay the same age. My advice? If you catch one, run before that's not all you've caught.
The Pro - These guys are good at everything, getting girls being no exception. With the confidence that comes with way too many friends, too much money, and a plane ticket out of here next week, these guys will sweep you off your feet and onto your back before you can tell them you're "not usually like this" Usually found in packs of 5-10 dudes, all decked out in Monster/Red Bull gear, you know you've got one when he gets more text messages at 2 am than anyone you know, and insists they're from his sponsors. Have as much fun with this one as you like, just remember he probably has a girl like you at the base of every mountain.
The Semi Pro - One of the more annoying types of all Whistler guys, these boys are hardcore shredders. So dedicated to the idea of being the next big name, these guys shred all day, and talk about shredding all night. Often found in the Black Park, making home videos to send to sponsors, you know you need to upgrade to the real deal when you find out he lives with 13 dudes so he can afford a ski pass and he's turning 25.
The Real McCoy - This one may be a born and bred Whistler local, or his family may have had a place up here since Whistler was called London Mountain, either way he is a true outdoorsman. He back country skis in the winter, rock climbs in the spring, and hikes in the summer. As a great adventurer and ultimate go getter, this guy is a keeper for the right lady. Just remember to throw out your heels and invest in a pair of hiking boots.
The Aussie Mate - You'll hear this one before you spot him. Usually drunk and belligerent, these boys are here for the Partay. Dressed in the worst combination of next years Burton and Volcom outerwear, this charmer has chin length blonde hair that may never have been washed. Add a crocheted bandana and some neon and what's not to love? That is until you realize he lives in Staff Housing and has no money. In my personal opinion...you are not "all roight mate"
The Bar Boy - This one shouldn't even need explaining. He may be a bouncer/bartender/ or manager at your favorite club, or it just may seem like he is because he's always there. You have him on speed dial and for good reason too... no line/no cover is a hot commodity in this town. Obviously good looking, if maybe a tad too well groomed these guys wheel and deal every pretty girl the same. Keep them close until the clock strikes 2, then vanish before you or they turn into a pumpkin. DFMO's are way more awkward with the lights on.
Disclaimer: This is intentionally sarcastic, and not intended to hurt anyone's feelings. Pffffff
The Whistler Guys' Guide to "not having your feelings too hurt by the above article"
ReplyDeleteLadies, we all know that these 6 categories could not be more "on the money" here in Whistler. Well said, congrats. But now where does that leave us? We are all clearly just destined to be a bunch of unsuitable drop-outs. Bang-marang, cock-a-doodle-doo! Pan's the man!
Just kidding... I think what needs to be remembered is that a cliche can be fitted to almost every town or place; especially the smaller ones. The trick is to be yourself - again, another cliche-oriented comment, but completely valid I feel. Yes there are tonnes of Peter Pan's and Real McCoy's out here. But that doesn't mean we all fit into one of the 6 categories, like little "ineligible bachelor" muffins on a baking tray!
Personally, as a directionally-confused individual myself, I come to Whistler to explore one of life's many possibilities. And with many graduates here like me, to do it with an open mind. It is with this open mind that allows a new direction to be forged. I find all too often that we get sucked into the 9-5 paradigm of the working world, and we forget that we have to enjoy our lives for the "now" and not for the future. (Next thing you know, you're 65 or dead, and all you've done is worked unhappily before that.)
But you get up on that chair lift, with its spectacular views, fresh snow all around, and you realize that life is out there for the taking; it's only as good as you want to make it. I'm no Semi-Pro, but I love the outdoors. Whilst I like adventure, I don't expect a girl to wear hiking boots and water bottle on her hip 24/7 at the expense of some sexy high-heels. I also didn't grow up here, so I guess that also kicks me out of the Real McCoy stereotype. But you'll find similarities in most guys here - and it's that truism in the article that scares us all initially - but, then again, most girls here like to shop! Just like we like to snowboard, have fun and travel... It doesn't make us boys, it just makes us different - and don't lie to yourselves - you love that about us ;)
Almost everybody's had a false start or two, especially those of us here. We're not Lost Boys, because we don't all know where we're going - we just currently see life as uncertain. But that's exactly what it is - it's a journey to an unforeseen destination; and that's what makes it so great.
So ladies, maybe just avoid marrying the guys in the Black Park with his buddies and their camera; and maybe get a pre-nup with the Aussie Mate who tries to hook up with you outside Buffalo Bills on a Wednesday. Look to get to know yourself, and then look for the guys who know themselves; and THEN decide who you're hopping on a plane for.
Haha, nice post... as a former Whistler Lost Boy it was a fun read. During my time there I was probably fit "The Semi Pro" profile best. But I didn't want to become "The Peter Pan" so moved away.
ReplyDeleteBut, the good news for you ladies (and men) searching for your Whistler soul mate..., I met my wife during my few years in Whistler, we moved away together and got married a few years later. So yes we may be Lost but we're just waiting to be found.