The Whistler Guys Guide to Whistler Girls

The Highschooler

Growing up in Whistler, our school teams would often travel to small towns throughout the Lower Mainland to compete in basketball and volleyball games. As our team van would roll into places like Squamish,Pemberton,and Courtney, we would howl with laughter at all the "townies" hanging at the 711 and local gas stations. We were confident that while we came from a town that was actually smaller in population than most of the ones we visited, we were much more sophisticated and worldly than these kids hanging at the local Sev. It is this same mentality that makes me feel entitled to act as an expert as I comment on Whistler Girls and give unsolicited dating advice.
  
Whistler Girls:

The Guy Girl - Often seen with unwashed hair, this girl loves to shred, wear boys clothes and sneer at city girls in dresses and high heels as they wait in line at Garfs. The idea of femininity and overall cleanliness is usually lost on this specimen. Can be found at Tapleys, Crystal or wherever else is serving 15 cent wings that night.

The Gear Girl - While this little filly loves the mountain as much as any boy, she's usually a sponsored rider, wearing only next years clothes in perfectly unmatched colors. She may snowboard with the best of them, but she does so with uncompromising style. At night you can find her working at a local hot spot, or creating drama at some high profile snowboard movie premier.

The "Local" Girl - These are the girls that moved to Whistler, for the scene, not the mountain. Probably from somewhere out east, these girls work exclusively for local clubs. They know everyone, and everyone knows them.  Blonde and usually poised behind a beer bin, if u can spot extensions and a glowing tan in mid February, you know you've caught one.

The Highschool Gal - Three letters : TNA, and if you think I mean Tits and Ass, your a total perv. These girls go to Whistler High, shop exclusively at Aritizia, wear $400 jeans and most likely work at Earls for the sole purpose of scoring fake ID. Can be found at Alpine Meadows Market, or dressed in black posed as your resident door whore.  Buyer beware, if she looks 16, she probably is.

The Real Girl - This girl is all about the fresh air. She skis in the winter, bikes in the summer and owns everything from Escape Route and Lulu Lemon. Throw some yoga, triathlons, and cross country skiing in the mix, you've got yourself a winner if you can manage to keep up. Oh, and yes....her arms are bigger than yours.

The City Girl - Lately these ladies have thrown me for a loop. Usually easy to spot by their fake Cowichan sweaters, artfully layered under leather jackets; perfectly blow dried hair, Ugg boots and stunner shades (even in the snow.) These princesses have undergone a total transformation since HBC released their Olympic wear. What was once deemed cute for a "Whistler Winter Weekend" is now passe next to the sea of red white and navy. Extra points for matching beanie, mitts and Canada hoodie.

The Ladies Who Lunch - Also known as a WASP this is probably your mom I'm talking about. Moved to Whistler in the 80's when she was a "total hippie that loved to smoke dubes" this pretty lady loved to ski until you came along. Decked in a mixture of Lulu's and Mount Cashmere, she works only as hard as the Phillipino nanny allows. You can take this one down....if you drive a Cayenne.

Stay tuned for The Whistler Girls Guide to Whistler Boys.

Disclaimer: This is intentionally sarcastic, and not intended to hurt anyones feelings. Pffffff