Through The Looking Glass

Sorry its been so long. I've been on somewhat of an extended vacay. However, I have been writing. Thanks to this blog I actually got my first real job as a writer! Imagine that...I never knew I wanted to be a writer. Stay tuned this summer when the article gets published in Mountain Life.


Anyways, the last time I wrote I was desert bound on my way to Coachella. An amazing experience full of the most beautiful people, music and weather! I even caught K-Stew doing something illegal in a Port-a-Potty, ate breakfast beside Melanie Griffiths and saw Adrian Grenier running in short shorts..sigh. It was over too soon, yet not quite soon enough. I think the recovery time, mixed in with some Telus Fest action, was longer than the vacation itself. Ohhh the joys of being 23.


Then again ...Ug. I'm almost 24. I'm having a bit of a 1/4 life crisis these days, and have decided to write about it as it seems to be mirrored in all my friends. I'm also reading Eat, Pray, Love again, so the desire to reflect on one's life is probably exacerbated. The thing is, is that I'm feeling a bit cheated. Everyone warned you about being  teen, about the horrors of high school etc etc. Yet no one had the decency to mention how life after University isn't all it's cracked up to be.


Here's a little history for you. I went to Western, straight outta high school and dropped out after a year. I don't know who sets up the educational system, but the idea that a 17 year old has enough life experience to invest $15,000 into a university degree is mental. Find me one person who knew what they wanted to be at 17. I found the whole experience quite overwhelming, and to be honest totally stupid. Tell me, how does sitting in a class of 500 listening to a prof who will never know my name, talk about sociology, help me figure out what the F I want to do? I hated it, and that was a jagged little pill for me to swallow. I was the kind of girl that should have excelled in that environment, so if I wasn't that girl anymore..who was I?


To make a long story short, I took a year off, moved to Colorado to live with a boyfriend, gained some confidence and vowed to never let myself get as unhappy as I was at Western, ever again. Next came a 2 month trip to Thailand to escape a miserable breakup, only to find out problems have air miles. Another summer spent in Whistler with the wrong group of people, a move to Vancouver to an apartment I couldn't afford, 3 years at BCIT doing PR because a stranger at a dinner party one night in Boulder told me I would be good at it, and finally some peace that came from the knowledge, that I actually was very, very good at it. Bye, Bye, "you dropped out of school" baggage. Hello PR graduate.


So now I'm done school, have done some more traveling, moved back to Whistler because I still can't afford to live in Vancouver, had the time of my life at the Olympics, and all of a sudden looked up and realized that I'm in the exact same place as I was last year. I want to scream. I seem to be stuck between three patterns of thinking:


1. Get a good job - Get a nice apartment - Grow up. 
2. Go back to school - Get more degrees - Grow up.
3. Make a big change - Travel the world - Move to a foreign city -Live your life.


I seem to be stuck between a constant desire for transience, and a yet a similar need to settle. It's all very...un-settling. So here I am, blogging away in Whistler, trying to plan the next adventure or waiting and watching for a new door to open. I need to reconcile the person I currently am,  with the person I want to be. I still can't seem to figure out how to take the next step, so all of you out there with dream jobs and magical answers to all my problems...feel free to send your advice my way. 


I'm starting to feel like a whiner now. I'll be off to enjoy this breezy twenty-something existence, after all my birthday is next Tuesday and Sasquatch is but a mere two weeks away ;)